“ 28 May 2003
“ Mechanical pencil
*- Inspired by Jimmy’s book again, just an elaboration of his picture. A weird picture, really in the middle of nowhere. Ooh how I love those grasses =.=

“ 26 May 2003
“ Mechanical pencil
*- Inspired by the rain & Jimmy’s illustrations. Maybe I was feeling sad or something. Wrote those words in chinese there.

Last friday. Went to school feeling pretty normal. Then when got into class didn feel like talking to anybody. Silent. Went for assembly without uttering a word or even moving from my cross-hand position. Didn know why i felt that way, just didn feel like talking or doing anything. Was staring into blank space and just lost. In my own thoughts. I hate it in the morning, dun feel like talking at all. And it meant shutting myself off for the rest of the morning. Didn want to feel that way too. Just felt so bad that i lost my appetite and didn talk to mindy they all again. Stayed back in class for recess and just sat at my desk doing nothing. I didn know what to do. Started writing all leslie’s lyrics on my paper. Wrote and wrote.

Just remembered that a month had passed. Unbelievable. The last time i remembered when i was reading the newspaper, 6th april. Chinese paper has like more than 6 pages of news about him. Then now everything dies down after his funeral. And cds being sold everywhere else, and this “fad” of buying everything of his fading away. And he’s slowly fading away as he’s come and gone, isn he? That day i couldn get his face right. I couldn remember what he looked like. It was a mixture of people but i just couldn image his face in my mind. I didn know who he was. I only knew someone jumped off a building on 1 april. He was a great singer, actor and person to people around him. He was Leslie. Leslie Cheung. Oh Leslie Cheung, the one that acted in yeBanGeSheng. The first movie i watched that i really noticed him. I like his style. The way he acts. The way he talks. His facial expressions. His smile. He wasn the best singer, but his voice had his own style. A rare talent. Songwriter and director-to-be. He was only 46. He was at the peak of his career. In a moment he ended everything. gone.

Then i realise he was really gone. For the rest of your lives and mine. Yi bei zi shi qu le ni, like he sang in his song. Was i grieving? Was i just moody? I dont know. Perhaps it was a sense of loss. Lost soul. Some say that he’s free of his illnesses or unhappiness. Some say he’s in a better place, perhaps paradise where he’s much happier there. But he wasn a Christian. Maybe that’s something that saddens me the most. For his friends and family. The unfinished unspoken words, they’ll never have another chance. Treasure. That’s what i learnt. To treasure all those around. You’ll never know if you will get a second chance. Or to feel regret for the rest of your lives. I dont want to. Tomorrow is always there, but whether you’ll be there tomorrow, i dont know.

Learn to treasure before it’s even too late.. [5.17pm]

“ 4 May 2003
“ Colour pencils
*- From a christmas card, added the background myself. Drawn straight in colour pencils. Had some text to go with it but I removed it anyway. I like the colours very much.

A Thousand Dreams of You – Leslie Cheung

Oh it’s time to dream
a thousand dream of you
it’s been so grand together
yes, together
you thrilled me from the start
you brought the spring again
your fingers touched the strings of my heart

and made it sing again

I hope you dream
a thousand dreams of me
all things were planned doing together
and if you do

I dream my whole life through
a thousand, a million, a zillion dreams of you..