well, we have cold weather here. the only source of warmth is the bath water; everything else is but cold. like what i’ve predicted, the day runs short just as how you would have minimal hours of daylight at this time of the year in some places. i reckon it’s a tad too short for those stirred up thoughts inside of me. so you see it gets a little messy sometimes. now that christmas eve draws near to a closure, tomorrow is even closer than what i expected. the gifts lie unwrapped, untouched, and the cards still carry no traces of ink – be it black, blue or coloured ones – save the printed greetings on the front as well as the interior. i wonder how much allowance Time has to make for me on this chilly night, though noisy because of the barbeque party they are having downstairs.

the moon is bright for tonight, and probably tomorrow night too. it’s such a pity i’m unable to view the spectacular array of stars in the nightsky for now, and also in a long time to come. many days ago i had the chance to stargaze under the malaysian sky. those stars that i saw were practically countless and that made me feel better. the more i looked for the stars, the harder it gets to see them sometimes. but when i lost focus and shifted my vision elsewhere, they appear. i guess it’s just similar to some things in life. a chance to go stargazing is good enough. to such a distraught person, once is more than adequete to be etched onto my memory and last for a long time.

christmas is nigh. there are some words that should go unsaid, pain that should go untouched, tears that should remain warm, feelings that should have remained unexpressed, things that should have already been let go of… but just for tonight, i would like to wrap all of them up in a box, fasten a big bow around it and then address it to someone from far far away.

it’s just that, i can’t seem to find the box.