“ 19 July 2005
“ Pics: Mindy, my stock photos
*- Part two of the first digital manipulation – Scream Mindy. Made use of a funny picture Mindy posed for me on Racial Harmony Day 2005 with in the little storeroom behind my class. Notice, the shrouded figure is well, Sara. (Sara again?!) Darkened the background and added grainy effect to make it look eerie. Oh, and that funny scream logo picture is from my foolscap coverpage.

“A smile brings on the spring, a tear releases sorrow. Such mannerism, who can possess? Such demeanour, who can withhold?” For as long as the Peking Opera existed, since the kick-start of it in ancient dynasties of China, “dan”(female) roles have always been perceived and portrayed as characters of beauteous enchantment. In the novel and internationally acclaimed movie scripted by Lillian Lee, “Farewell My Concubine”(1993) is an example of such.

Spanning over a few decades in the 1900s, the period was encircled between the diminishing traditional era and the impending New Society of modern China. Amongst the countless Chinese Opera performers, particularly a young man who adopted the name Dieyi takes on the role of Yuji the Concubine from the infamous opera script of “Farewell My Concubine”, traversing the theatre stages with his stage brother, the Emperor. Sold into an opera troupe at a tender age, Dieyi’s life was a fragile one. He was a tragedy right from the beginning.

Perhaps, destiny had etched the forlorn look onto his flawless face. The ghost of his past – the sedate young boy – has grown into a man of fine calibre, with a medium build just perfect for his female role and a voice tender enough to sing of the undying love Yuji had towards the Emperor. Straight-browed, a finely shaped nose lies between Dieyi’s cheeks, with bow-shaped lips and gentle eyes – eyes that seem to stare into a distant – which are molded in the right proportion onto an oval frame. Dieyi does not have very squarish jaws. He is a man, yet with so much resemblance to a woman. His well defined features shine forth an innate appeal, most of all an ethereal beauty that is alluring to both genders.

Peking Opera itself is a well-received form of artistry, an infinite performing stage where Dieyi obliterates all distractions and fully engrosses as Yuji, a woman destined for a sorrowful ending which somehow becomes Dieyi’s.

The estheticism of the outlook of Peking Opera “dan” characters lies in the spectrum of colours of the elaborate dressings as well as the headdresses. On stage, Dieyi dons intricate trinkets on top of his headdress, consisting of pearls and butterfly hairpins and basically decors to enhance the significance of his role. Dieyi’s entire face is covered in white oil paint while magenta colour pigment is spread over the eye area with bold, black paint for the brows and eye-lines. Subjected to his own world so aloof, he stands, ever so dignified and garners the audiences’ attention in its entirety. Yuji wears a genteel, prideful expression and with a single tilt of the head and gesture of a fair hand, his subtle yet lavishing charisma encompasses the finest qualities of what men and women yearn for. Minimal expression from his countenance amazingly outpours the most indescribable and complex emotions. Much like a piece of art; picturesque to the state of perfection.

In a particular scene, Dieyi takes on a graceful, well-planned gait as the sole performer on stage. The Japanese soldiers are rationing the electricity yet again, turning on and off the theatre lightings. Faced with the onslaught of the audience’s chaos, his silent figure spins, ignorant of all else, finally landing headlong upon the carpeted stage of crimson. A despondent concubine in a state a stupour. He lay still. He does not move. Yet beyond the stage, welling emotions arouse simultaneously and erupt the audience’s admiration and most of all, applause.

After all, it is his stage, his art, his life. These are meant to be, because – he is Yuji, in real life.

However obsession and enticement Dieyi brings about amongst his supportive fans, actors are merely a passing fancy in the Chinese culture, as the saying goes, “Actors are unfeeling”. Away from the splendidly dazzling role on the stage, Dieyi leads a bleak life and has a melancholic nature. It is not known, to them. He has a burning desire for beautiful things, for perfection, just as himself with a delicate and fragile personality. Like a metamorphic butterfly, mortified yet blessed with a beauty so overwhelming and intense that it can hurt.

A rich merchant, rather captivated by Dieyi, once exclaimed, “A smile brings on the spring, a tear releases sorrow. Such mannerism, to you, solely belongs. Such demeanour, can you, solely withhold.”

Dieyi’s tragic ending is a result of his lifelong suppressed love for his stage brother. Like an exact replica of the script of “Farewell My Concubine”, where Yuji drinks and dances for the King for the last time before slashing her throat with her sword, Dieyi’s death occurs as a symbolism of fleetness in life. Nothing matters even if life is short-lived. Just because it is short-lived, only then can life be thus beautiful.

written on 7 July 2005

You may be interested to know what’s the state of my life right now. So I’m gonna tell that to you:

Currently I indulge in chocolate eating daily, leading to an unstoppable habit or even obsession. The other day my mum spent $17+ on chocolate stuff alone at the Compass Point shopping centre. Now I’m consuming them all up =) Another thing I did was song writing. Never knew how it felt to be one nor how to begin writing. But I did it anyway, for one whole day I came up with the basic chords, melody and half the lyrics. Claudyne came up with some too and it’s for teachers day. Audition was supposedly due today but they’d changed it to next thursday. In the end it feels so good to be a songwriter. Now I know why Leslie composes his own songs and sings them like no one does. At least self-composed songs are unique to a large extent and it belongs to you! That’s what makes it so special, perhaps.

Anyway, thanks to Eva for the title, Smiles of Yesterday.

(solo)”A long long time ago, I could still remember how the teachers used to make me smile. And if I had my chance, I could make those teachers dance and maybe they’d be happy, for a while…”

(drums)

Everytime I set my eyes upon you
I see a cloud of expressions
Never knew your smile can make my day
??????ria-not?
You said, “Think abourit,
Classtime’s meant for the one-hour quiz.”

Homework fillin’ our pockets
You’re still the guide, unfailing
Safe hands determine what I’m worth
So we’re really grateful
Stand up! and salute

* Four years in PL, ??? memories
heartbeats in sync on the road of our history
Rainy or sunny, moments of (chem teacher’s voice)”Ah loa, what are you doing??”
Times when we just want to sing:

Thanks, Thanks, Thanks, Thanks, ????
???? ?? ???

* Treasures you gave us, to weave in our dreams
not undermining life’s vague possibilities

Overflowing arr-nergy, nearly volcanic
and somehow endure our crapping and fooling

School life’s velocity, constant security
equations, solutions give you satisfaction

Alliterate as all are agreeing
sing but forget not, those smiles of yesterday

Thanks to Grace and Charlene for being my drummer (using keyboard) and guitarist respectively. We still have to go through once though. I hope it doesn’t turn out like crap. I know some parts are too high but what we can do is to harmonize, in other words to sing the lower tune while the three amigos (giggle) will take the higher notes. Three cheers for the teachers’ day prep and also for the puppeting!

Other than that, I’ve been obsessed with reading the chinese novel I found online. Nearly at the end now and I realise I’ve neglected my chinese journal. I put some photos up though, for the 1st april. Ok, have to continue anyhow. So long, then.

The above is a very old picture (probably taken 20 odd years ago) forwarded to me by the group of fan friends. Haha I was so tickled by the hilarity of this picture that I decided to make it my laptop’s wallpaper, plus some extra doodlings… Now can you spot who I spotted? (hint: 3 very obvious ones… anw the fattest of all is of coures mr andy cow!) They’re all clad in swimsuits and trunks, ready for a day at the beach! Lol, how fun!