Let’s just say it’s getting a little depressing as of late.

I’m beginning to doubt my future as a designer, because such a slacker wouldn’t even do for anything at all. There’s no drive for me to work at all, the lack of inspiration makes assignments really dull, and the many other frustrations like staying true to using my own images while others easily settle for stocks and brushes (it’s my philosophy, but I won’t care to explain), my lack of reference which has become a perpetual barrier preventing improvement of any sort from the current lousy standard I hold. I fearfully predict that this may last for the next one and a half years.

Grades no longer serve to encourage hard work from me, yet it’s what determines our “value” here. Does hard work really equate to good grades? I refuse to do anymore than what I feel like doing for there may be no end to that process, and I refuse to do what has been done before. So, my philosophies would probably kill me sooner than I expect. And by the end of it all, I would be left with nothing to move forward with; only everything to hold on to.

Something must be amiss. Life is not suppose to be like this?

In need of some thrill at this point of my life, I caught the horror flick Unrest on thursday. The gore was nothing, however, the very fact that they gave us an insight on Gross Anatomy and the real-looking cadavers (did I read somewhere they used real one(s)?) made me flinch in my seat, although it had been the most interesting thing to learn how they dealt with the donated corpses. Shipping them in wooden crates, dump them all in the liquid-filled tank, retrieving them like dump using only a metal hook to pull them out, etc. With regards to the realistic aspect, it had all been very gross but mind-blowing and good to watch. I simply CANNOT understand how in one particular scene the actor and actress had managed to bring themselves to jump into that murky tank, filled with gross looking corpses and body parts, in a bid to free their cursed cadaver. A very chilling thought huh. Besides the great acting and incredibly chilly atmosphere of the hospital corridors and lab, I dislike the story itself and the supernatural theme they decided to base this film on. And the terrible sound effects that were enough to disrupt what was going on in the scene. And I had expected Unrest to be a good movie =(

My right hand developed blisters while I was playing in a match during training last friday. One of them burst and made it impossible for me to grip the bat without a plaster. Till now it still looks terribly ugly. Over the weekend, I slept much, watched Yamada Taro Monogatari a second time, finished Bambino in two days and am now watching Romance (the Korean drama from quite long ago). No matter how much about Arashi I show to my mum, she can’t seem to deflect away from her favourite Kim Jae Won haha, although through YTM she’s come to like Sho-kun quite a bit for his prince-like image as Takuya Mimura (hmm, I wonder if it’s mean to be a pun on Takuya Kimura? Lol), Nino x Oh-chan (his cameo and the Ohmiya SK moment in the final episode) more (also because of that super super funny Mago2 Kodomo no Bangohan clip here), and through Bambino, MatsuJun a little more maybe. Where’s Aiba? In the zoo…. Not surprising I always associate him with the zoo. Oh yeah! We can’t stop discussing and laughing at the hilariously baka way Aiba introduced his name in Chinese during their 06 concert in Taipei. He sounded like a crow, or frog being slaughtered. ROFL.

Well if you’re wondering (at all?), I definitely feel better after this blog entry. Ciao! *Damn, this was suppose to be a solemn entry……*



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Diary Doodles

Yesterday night I got bored after going offline, so after writing in my diary, I began doodling. You can see from here what I’ve been watching recently. =D I guess Adeline would know most of it lah, since we’re always sharing Youtube videos and discussing about Jap stuff. Here you go!

In case you’re wondering about the actual content, I’ll just list them down…

1. Jun the prankster on NinoArashi: here.
2. Sho’s hair. Ade only showed me a picture of him… weird parting with long long bangs.
3. Tsuka Takashi’s and Inoue Maoh’s CM: here.
4. Nino’s & Jun’s air guitar: here.
5. Chibi Sho and Kinki Kids: here.
6. Ohno got hit: here.
7. Aiba’s English: here.
8. Toma is still a Johnny’s Junior, after all these years, and even when Hey! Say! JUMP has debuted… Owww =( Senpai of the juniors forever? No way….!
9. Tada, Kimi wo Aishiteru – The girl Shizuru at the bottom left. The movie is soo sooo good! The story branched out from another film, Renai Shashin (Collage of Our Lives) starring Ryuhei Matsuda and Hirosue Ryoko, which I’m constantly looking for. I love this version, and I’m sure it’s about as good as the other. It stars Hiroshi Tamaki (Nodame Cantabile, I heard it’s really funny and good too) and Aoi Miyazaki (this is the first movie of her that I’ve watched. So far I like her! Really glad that she’s married to Sousuke Takaoka (that’s Sugimura from Battle Royale hehe)).
10. Happy Mid-Autumn Festival! (^_^)~ The IMD bbq-cum-steamboat-cum-fondue session at Joshua’s house today was priceless. So many people turned up for it! And thanks Grace for the Barney lantern…. weeee!



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Happy 912, Leslie


Although it’s a late greeting, Happy 912, Leslie.

On the evening of 12 September, I was at Blue Jazz with the friends (after P2 submission) and the song “Even Now” was playing over the system. Originally by Barry Manilow, released in 1978. Leslie recorded this song in the same year in his debut album “Daydreamin’ ” when he was 22. What a sad song for your birthday. Why…

Even Now / When there’s someone else who cares / When there’s someone home who’s waiting just for me / Even now I think about you as I’m climbing up the stairs / And I wonder what to do so she won’t see / That even now / When I know it wasn’t right
And I found a better life than what we had / Even now I wakeup crying in the middle of the night / And I can’t believe it still could hurt so bad

Even now when I have come so far / I wonder where you are / I wonder why it’s still so hard without you / Even now when I come shining through / I swear I think of you / And how I wish you knew / Even now

Even now / When I never hear your name / And the world has changed so much since you been gone / Even now I still remember and the feeling’s still the same / And the pain inside of me goes on and on / Even now

Even now when I have come so far / I wonder where you are / I wonder why it’s still so hard without you / Even now when I come shining through / I swear I think of you / And God I wish you knew / Some how / Even now…



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401, I light my candle.


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4 years ago, your demise brought about a sudden change in my life. Nothing was very much the same after that April Fool’s day. It is ironic, still, that you left when everything was perfect.

3 years ago, through a website, I got to know a group of local fans. They told me about you much more than the newspapers did, and I was really amazed at your kindness, beauty and artistic ways. I collected everything about you, memorised your songs, analysed your movies and concerts and created so many blogskins just because I loved to do so.

2 years ago, I visited Hong Kong for the first time with them, even though it was the middle of a school term during my secondary 4 year. It was the trip I never will forget. You inspired my final Art coursework and have been the inspiration for most of my artworks since then.

1 year ago, I lit that candle at 6.41pm at the podium outside Jardine House, Central, overlooking Mandarin Oriental Hotel. We traced your footsteps, dropped by your home, bought flowers and made cards, attended the glamorous memorial events and caught your movie screenings in the cinemas just like the year before.

This year, “There will not be any formal program (by LLA), but you, your hearts and your candles will be with Leslie, at the time when he needed us most four years ago.” I stayed home to watch ??? ??? Teenage Dreamers? and I find myself drawn back into reminiscing and thinking of the yesteryears; when your soothing songs lulled me to sleep, and when I woke up each day with the realisation that you were no longer here.


My memories of you are made of these. And more.



. . . . .


The classic way of saying…

Happy Valentine’s Day, lovelies.”
A black and white picture of Leslie from his 1988 photobook. How very endearing and timeless he always is. <3



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