After days of rifting through the past and the present, I figured this problem cannot go on any longer. I’d need to see a shrink sometime. Not exactly need, but I don’t want to continue on being unable to communicate properly, or go on hiding away; ignoring and pretending to be oblivious. My world is closing in and shutting so many people out. If I don’t get to the root of the problem, I wonder who will.

For Drawing Essentials class, during these first two days of the week, we proceeded on to still life sketching. (no more vehicles, PHEW!) Sort of like a form of terror still, even to me. Ronald made us copy a whole chunk of notes about the fundamentals of sketching, then it was practical. With the cloth, mind you. Today we drew… lets see, 13 items under the lamp at one go, and with that damn cloth. Items like ping pong balls, a soccer ball, tin boxes, cylindrical tins, glossy-surfaced boxes, some block of fake cheese and a toy mouse. Halfway through the class he changed the items to an inverted cone, a sphere, cuboid, cylinder and a statue head. I wasn’t done with the previous one yet! I know it’s all for practice’s sake, but at least completing the drawing would seem less torturous, and maybe fulfilling. Now what’s up next after still life… =S I think it will be chiaroscuro, the line drawing as well as the silhoutte technique. *prepares a panadol*

School aside. I’ve been catching up on many films lately in the cinema and at home as well. Might discuss them a bit here if I’m willing to spend less time either outside or sleeping/napping. Yesterday all thanks to Karwen for accompanying me to catch the Korean flick (labelled the “gay movie” but I think otherwise) after lunching with Hajar at IT school. Thought we might not make it for the 4.30pm show but we did anyhow, at Shaw House Lido, though we missed the first few minutes. “King and the Clown” ??????, NC-16. The uncle actually questioned me if I was 16 yet T___T” Nevermind, doesn’t bother me — it simply implied that I look younger than I really am haha. Second last day of screening, the cinema was quite filled and from the look of it, majority of the audience comprised of girls. Probably those waiting to squeal when Lee Joon Ki’s ‘beautiful’ face was magnified on the screen. Yes there are the articles and reviews, and before that I had mistaken him for a pretty girl when I first saw the movie poster. We (including Victoria who was the only other person who watched it) kept on about how ‘pretty’ he is from the magazine and how =P it was for the ugly ? to be kissing him.

I think it’s a trend in the Korean movie industry or something; the first half (sounds like a soccer match!) of the movie was funny to the point of being crude (the stunts and obscenely weird stuff they performed or also what they indicated), then next was all the melodramatic content. King loses his mind over Gong-gil (the ‘pretty boy’), goes on a killing spree almost after every performance by the troupe (haha, that was one of the jokes in the movie), yada yada, blinds Gong-gil’s buddy (let’s not call it something else) and passes down a death sentence etc. Whenever Gong-gil appeared on screen close up and especially when he smiled, half the girls in the cinema would go “?????…” for real!! Towards the ending part Karwen and I were sure to have heard people sniffing, quite loudly in fact, when he attempted suicide and some other parts before that.

Here’s a scene that drew my attention: the troupe puts up a performance of the King’s history, of how his mother the Queen was killed, and Gong-gil plays the role of her. Poisoned wine was her cause of death. To my astonishment, it is performed in the style of Peking opera, complete with dressings and makeup and accent and all. Girls were squealing again — but it’s not new anyway:

Leslie’s been there, done that, in his 1993 “Farewell To My Concubine” and had successfully exploited the difficult androgynous role of Cheng DieYi, seemingly with the same sort of character as Gong-gil. Both are the “King’s man”. However, one should bear in mind that times were different then. Beauty‘s the word that aptly desribes Leslie’s onscreen persona. In real life, Leslie doesn’t at all look girlish but he’s definitely more manly than most of the typical tv dudes and singers in recent years. More manly than Lee Joon Ki =D But as Cheng DieYi, Leslie has just the right qualities – particularly a kind of “??” and genteel magnetism – to look androgynous without awkwardness whatsoever. As for Lee Joon Ki, I’ll not hesitate to describe him as the “pretty boy who walked out of a manga”. He seriously resembles a certain image of manga characters, and even though in this scene Gong-gil has had fleeting moments of ‘beauty’, I observed he’s not totally good-looking – as a male AND female – when he doesn’t smile. That’s probably the difference that spells it all. – 1.30am

pictures from www.kingsman.co.kr and Leslie websites.

What does it feel like to be snipping your toenail with the new garfield nail cutter and suddenly the nail cutter ends up like fireworks with parts going missing? A weird start for the day.

I’m going to school now to complete the vehicle sketch by filling in details for the wheels and prior to this I had already dreamt it all – how I got up, the hotdog I ate, the plate I ate from, some black bag I brought to school (which doesn’t exist in my possession =P), which empty classroom I put it in (an ideation classroom on level 5… doesn’t exist either lol), how I went down to take pictures of the vehicle for reference and back again to realise it was a year2′s class and I stalked in, took my bag and left. I wondered if the lecturer thought I was rude, but I intended to return and apologise. HAH. I’m going to school now.

A new template and some colourful photos of works done by my classmates for 2dArtFun class. Version 40, F-O-R-T-Y! That’s been a long way since my first template in 2002 =) Soon I’ll reach 50 and luvgal2field.diaryland will be pretty ‘old’ by then, but one of the longest-living blog among my friends. Like what Hajar tagged, I’m very sure you are enthralled by the background mp3, Boulevard of Broken Dreams – also the very theme of this template, which is sung by <3 Leslie in 1996. Mine, if I hadn't mentioned or related it to him, you mightn't even realise it's sung by a Chinese. One of those songs that I can keep listening to over and over again and somehow gives me the impression of South America... feels like it. Well, version 40's planned in my head this time round (nothing on paper) and the overall effect is better than what I've expected. For this, I cast about my photo files and found useful stock photos like the lamp post, rose (the one I plugged into Leslie's letterbox in my last trip to HK), the street behind Leslie's house at night, flowers and plants either from school or somewhere else, and no brushes! Woohoo the flowers do make very pretty brushes and they're mine! Hehe. Here's also a picture of Leslie in 1997 (one of my FAVOURITE periods) plus fonts I haven't tried out before. It's a slight deviation from my usual sort of style and colourscheme. The entire thing (80% of the graphic) including coding was duly completed today and now I deserve a long rest while we enjoy the visual esthetic pleasure this design emanates. (hear my trumpet? lol) Do leave your comments at the board, they're very much appreciated.

Boulevard of Broken Dreams – Leslie, 1996

I walk along the street of sorrow / The boulevard of broken dreams / Where gigolo and gigolette / Can take a kiss without regret / So they forget their broken dreams / You laugh tonight and cry tomorrow / When you behold your shattered schemes / And gigolo and gigolette / Wake up to find their eyes are wet / With tears that tell of broken dreams / * Here is where you’ll always find me / Always walking up and down / But I left my soul behind me / In an old cathedral town / The joy that you find here you borrow / You cannot keep it long it seems / But gigolo and gigolette / Still sing a song and dance along / The boulevard of broken dreams / Here is where you’ll always find me / Always walking up and down / For I left my soul behind me / In an old cathedral town / The joy that you find here you borrow / You cannot keep it long it seems / But gigolo and gigolette / Still sing a song and dance along / The boulevard of broken dreams

2D/3D exhibition at the Espace. All I helped with was the artist statements *grins* and some 3D pieces were really intriguing! But I still love the 2D ones. Haha. Sorry for the bad quality photos; the camera mode was totally wrong when I took these. And they really don’t do justice to the real artwork and artists =P oops. I’ll only write the titles that I know. (P/s: Look, my red hair! Hahah)

I believed in Coincidence, but it got the better of me.
Now, I won’t believe rely on it any longer.

10.36pm: These days, our source of entertainment is the drink machine. We enjoy scamming it, but that’s about all the fun we have in a day. Only third day of the block; everyone looks as if they’re falling apart, or rather our class, for that matter. No chance or mood to talk, let alone start a discussion during classtime. Let’s just say – Ronald’s a patient lecturer (with lots of time to spare) who points out mistakes and makes us perfect our drawings by listing his expectations, and (the most dreaded of all) redo. But all this no-talking, no using hp, concentrate-on-your-own-work and do-not-disturb-your-friends atmosphere is bringing life to a standstill where the joyful chatters go unheard, so seemlingly detached from us. I wish last block back

and I “love” B.T. aka Block Teaching.